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According to Kai, almost every venue in the country has cancelled our gigs.’ ‘What the fuck!’ Olivia wailed. ‘Why?’ ‘It’s the result of all the negative publicity we’ve been getting,’ said Crystal. ‘The concert organisers don’t like what they’ve read and they don’t want to take the risk of allowing us to get on stage.’ ‘I thought there was no such thing as bad publicity,’ remarked Judy. ‘That might have been true if we were a punk rock group or some kind of edgy theatre troupe,’ said Crystal. ‘But we’re not. We flirted with fame and instead we found scandal.’ ‘It’s all the fault of the fucking American media!’ Judy sniffed. ‘They’ve fucking had it in for us ever since we arrived in this shit-arse country.’ Of all of us, Judy Dildo was the one most likely to agree with Polly Tarantella’s thesis that Crystal Passion was the victim of a grand conspiracy. Most of us blamed our misfortune more on the outcome of a series of unfortunate events. And this is ironic given that Polly. Sitting at the table, across from his sister, Matt raised a chip to a mouth curved with satisfaction. While struggling to reach the bag of flour in the top, left cupboard, Mrs. Jones spoke with her back to the kitchen occupants. ‘Now, Matty, before you so rudely interrupted…’ Standing up unhurriedly, Matt effortlessly plucked the bag from its perch, two feet above Mrs. Jones’ head, saving her five minutes of work. Smiling at her oldest, interruptions forgiven for his help, she continued excitedly, ‘Your sister was just about to tell us the details of her engagement.’ Eyes bulging, Matt started to choke on the chips he had just stuffed into his mouth. Donald came over and gave his son a few thumps on his back. Once the threat of suffocation was out of the picture, Matt turned a grateful gaze to his fathers’ humor-filled one. Groaning in frustration, Donna went over to make sure her first-born would live to see another day, and then she’d get the details of the damn engagement! Matt.
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